New Year

We went to the zoo one more time today to finish off our membership passes. Phew..we've been to the zoo about 30 times maybe this last year? I love seeing all the different plants, colors and animals. My favorite was this two headed snake. I think what I love about it is it's color striping..I love black and white and I also love that it's not scientific. At the zoo they always push the "scientific" proof stuff. This just defies any sort of that nonsense. I think God made this scary snake for us this year so we could go and have time together (me and Skye specifically) and enjoy it.
What I'm leading up to (I know, not so good at the subtle transitional thoughts) is that I really was convinced this year that God gave our family so many subtle clues to point us to Him. He really has outdone himself.
I bought this new bible for Skye for Christmas and we've only just begun to read it, but it's already just reminding me that God did all this because He wants my heart and he wants me just the way I am ... he wants a relationship with me, not so much the grass, the birds--but ME. Skye told me tonight... "God didn't make bikes momma, he didn't make everything...BUT, he did make me momma, huh?"
So, happy new year. Hopefully the journey ahead isn't as hard as the journey behind us, eh? I'm praying for a year of pumpkin spice lattes, some serious weight loss and not too many cobwebs (they come ya know, after you have more than one kid!)

A Miracle....the Bottle!

So, we've been working on this bottle thing for, um, 4 solid months. To say I have a stubborn child who just wants to nurse, is true, true, true. Tonight, after waking up-- because he didn't get enough breastmilk at dinner, I sent Alan in there to give him a bottle. I didn't hear anything for about 5 minutes and then went to check, without Chase seeing me. Alan nodded his head!! He was drinking the bottle!!! What??? Yipee!! Thanks Lord. I feel like an elephant has just moved position off MY CHEST!!!
He drank about 4 ounces. Then I nursed him. I also made a big deal and let him eat my nose (which is one of his favorite things to do) and I just kept praising him.

Ice Cream

So my little one won't take any sort of sippy cup, bottle, straw or combination thereof, but he will eat cheesecake icecream. Yep, I gave him a taste tonight and I had to limit him after about 2 tablespoons. No wincing, no faces, no spitting up...just pure smiles and smacks. Go figure!!

Different Perspective

With the emotion of being me, and the ups and downs and the thoughts I give (too much actually) to everything, I'm back at it again, with a different outlook.
We've all been very sick over here..perhaps to slow me down and force me into just hanging out and not having time to rant on my blog. I'm not a very content person at times and realize this when I read my old blogs. I get tired of everything and then I read it and weep and realize I need a Saviour.
We had a glorious Christmas. My husband outdid himself again. My dear friend sent the most admirable and thoughtful gift, it might as well had been a million bucks. My mother sent me dishes (what girl doesn't want brown and teal dishes?) My sister who just had a baby sent me a gift too! It really was a humbling Christmas. For all my ranting about how much I was dreading opening the Target unthoughtful gifts, my husband really thought about it. So, I owe whomever reads these things, an apology..a big one. We also spent some time reading the story of Christmas and all cried (well, me and Alan). It was really powerful to us..what Christ did for us.
The glorious thing about this Christmas was that I really enjoyed being healthy...until I got sick half way through Christmas day and all the next and into the next night. I had to call Alan home from work to come and take care of me and the boys. Haven't done that in months and months.
We went to my aunts (after opening our own gifts) and she and my cousin had spent hours decorating, cooking and making treats for us. Then they lavished us with like 3 gifts each..my cousin Krissy hand knit beanie hats (matching, of course) for the boys. I was blown out of the water!!
I look at my family and I really am glad to not be pregnant and to be on the mend. Did I say that I'm glad to not be pregnant and on the mend? Oh yah, I did...

Prayer

Very introspective today. One of those days where it would have been nice to be alone all day. Yes, you heard me, the extrovert, said it. I just wanted to sit and be with God. I was really moved by a book I read last night for devos and was just wanting to cry and be with my comforter. I'm seeming to run out of energy these days at breakneck speed. I feel like a robot at times, going through the motions and trying to keep up with the demands of my husband and children. I feel that if I don't cry or scream, no one listens to my needs. I realize that is very selfish. And that's where I'm at. I want to go get/do something alone. I want my life and don't want it arranged any different, but honestly the amount of work that goes into a day is breaking me. Yesterday I was teasing about the clothes pile, but it's so overwhelming..why is it that complicated? I thought moving to a small space and not buying much would help. Then I'm also (honestly) irritated with my husband for buying gifts at the last minute. I know it's hypocritical, as I do not send mine out on time, but I have thought them through and purchased them ahead of time (like in June) and have hid them in special spots and have anticipated etc.,etc..and he goes to Target today and buys me something. He ALWAYS gets me great things, but I really just want some lip balm or something that he has paid attention to the detail and purchased. I told him I don't want any presents. I really feel blessed with just having Chase and being semi healthy this year.
We started a "why you don't like Christmas" talk. It didn't go well. He asked me this morning (after putting up a Charlie Brown tree that we cut down in the forest that is 5 feet tall and is very wimpy, but it smells great and we've only had it up 1 week) when we can take it down because it's just taking up space!! (don't throw tomatoes at him) I'd love a victorian home and put up with it all year--in terms of cleaning etc.., just for the privilege of hanging those fresh wreaths in the windows and decorating the mantel. Him...a tin tree with a lump of coal will do..and don't buy the tin tree...get a dead one from the forest and steal some silver paint from the trash in the back of home depot! (now I'm really typing funny stuff)
I know what he really wants..a million bucks to let me buy and ship whatever I want without a dent in my budget..BUT... that doesn't happen (probably because I buy so much stuff during the year that there isn't any money left over) so he just doesn't want to waste anymore on a Hallmark pumped up holiday. He just wants the simplicity of it all. I want the simplicity and meaning, PLUS A WHOLE LOT MORE..which isn't simplicity..I realize.
I'm just down too because of my intense feeding schedule..which has been great today and I actually went out and got a hair cut (gasp everyone) and ALAN WATCHED BOTH KIDS..LET ME REPEAT...ALAN WATCHED BOTH KIDS. So, I had a 2 hour break, very needed. I just want some prayer. I want to be grateful for my health and that I can even clean for 5 hours a day and do kids and shopping and meal crafting... just pray that for me! I'm also a pretty selfish gal..some prayer on that might be good. Much love.

It's Friday Night and...

even tho my husband is attempting to spend time with me, he is failing miserably, well, sort of. He is sitting right here and if you put your ear to the monitor you will be able to feel his breath and his snore!! Hee! We are pooped. We somehow got energy last night around 12am..yes, a.m., after I had fed Chase again, and then stayed up wrapping gifts and talking until 1:40. He will sometimes tell stories to Skye while I tidy up around the house and answer emails etc..and usually falls asleep for a couple hours, I wake him, then he transfers to wherever I am and falls back asleep. Usually the bed, but sometimes right here, as I'm always complaining I don't get enough of him, so he'll try and stay by me. I complained again tonight that his early morning schedule, I am grateful for, makes me miss him and he said he was thinking about it today and that I should wake up with him at 4 and have coffee together and "talk" (as he cocked his head and pursed his lips together, put his fingers in the parenthesis position and spoke in a very feminine facetious tone). Actually, that's when I get up to nurse Chase so I don't think it would be that bad..when it would get reeeeeally tempting is at about 2pm. So, here we are on a Friday night, me typing at my blog and my husband sound asleep at my side.
I did the clothes sort today. Here are all the possible piles. I only mention them because to the average, non-momma type person, this might seem made up, but NO, it is true:

Pile 1- Goodwill, things that are too stained to bother or stuff that I had my kids wear because I felt guilty throwing it away and not being a good steward of the "free" items, but I disliked from the beginning..now I feel justified putting it to goodwill. Also, clothes that might interupt my longstanding terrific "clothes-reputation"...if you know what I mean...
Pile 2-Consignment, clothes that are pretty cute, but not necessarily matched up with anything..random GAP overalls, good condition but out of season of what anybody I know, kids sizes are...OR an outfit that I know I can make some money on
Pile 3-EBAY for sale. These are pristine outfits..sets, more like it..things I know I can make some money back on and I have the blanket, socks, 2 undershirts..the sweater...
Pile 4-Too small for Skye clothes, but maybe save for Chase that are PLAY CLOTHES
Pile 5- Too small for Chase clothes that maybe Lori or April or someone might need in a few months, but not sure what sex they are having, so it's a bit gender neutral looking
Pile 6-Too small for Chase and someone let me borrow it, so I must return it
Pile 7-Soak Pile..to be determined after a small stain is removed
Pile 8 STOP THE MADNESS.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeallly...

Christmas Time

I'm enjoying Christmas time this year. I've been sick and pregnant the last two and so it's been good to re-do memories that haven't had the best flavor in our mouths. We've sort of been eating up every moment together. We've gone to the mountains for the first big snow, we built a snowman, drove all the way back to San Diego and it was still on our car (we took the 70 mile-an-hour freeway route!), isn't that amazing? We've decorated cookies, drank cocoa a lot, played tons of Christmas music and I've done too much on-line shopping. All that needs to happen is I need to fill up my door with all of your Christmas picture/cards. Honestly, some baked goods, a Starbucks gift card now and then (or something similarly relaxing) and pictures of everybody and their kids, really warms my heart. Today in Bible Study, every woman had made something or bought something for the rest of us. So I walked home with 5 presents, all for me--um, when does that happen? One jar of home made blueberry granola, one chinese takeout box of home made cookies, one donated amount to Crisis Pregnancy (wasn't that cool?), one Starbucks card and one big homemade caramel/chocolate drizzled apple. Plus, one of the girls had done that friendship bread and even tho she had sick kids, dropped it off for all of us. I love doing that kind of stuff! I had gotten "Stepping Heavenward" by Elizabeth Prentiss for everyone. I sort of felt badly that my gift wasn't homemade, especially seeing that I love that kind of stuff. We also spent our time today in bbstudy talking and praying for everyone. It felt really good to be real and just pray.
O.k. I need to get some sleep. I'm aching all over and my ears hurt..hopefully it's just allergies.

December Nights

We had a nice time this afternoon at our annual tradition of December Nights at Balboa Park. Last year I was too sick to go, so as I was walking with the baby in the sling and Skye's running up ahead and I'm holding my lover's hand, I looked at Alan and said, "ultimate, eh?" We are so glad to be back together and healthy again. So, grateful to God for sparing our lives together thus far. So grateful to be eating chocolate covered bananas and strawberries on a stick! Then we came home (after missing the "snow mountain"bummer) and watched "Facing the Giants" by Alex and Stephen Kendrick. It was an excellent movie. Totally recommend for those who haven't seen it. Cried, cried.

Favorite Things

I know I'm not suppose to offer a suggestion for Christmas gifts, but even if you just go looking on the website at stuff and drool for me, that's good enough.
LOVE<>

Random Pics and Quotes

Today was extreme. Extremely good behaviour and then extremely bad behaviour, complete with a bite at the end, just to top it all off! Fortunately I did not bite back, but sent one of mine to his room in his bed while I composed myself before the talk/discipline. Eh-hem. It probably didn't help that daddy didn't come home until late and we had already had a "lack of self control" day (from my standpoint)..sort of gets that way around here when I get too engrossed in my projects and this time I was trying to surprise Alan with the 3 fold Christmas letter brochure. Thought I'd bless him by doing it as he wants it done, but hates, hates doing it. Now the oven has been "preheating" for an hour and I still have pumpkin bread to make for the morning bbstudy group, MomSpace. Ahhh!!

HAPPY THOUGHTS

Quick question before i forget? What should I get Alan for Christmas...any ideas?

I got new glasses. Today I got a new hair cut and then came home (after I told her NOT to cut the bangs) and cut bangs. So, now I have a new haircut and bangs..hmmm. NOt sure how I feel about this. (Major important life issue, I know.)
Haven't spent much time with the Lord this week. I don't know how to do that with extended family here..I end up staying up late cleaning, then I can't get up in the morning. Back on track tomorrow morning. I need perspective and cleansing and nourishment.
I'm doing my Christmas cards. If you haven't received one in the past and want one, email me.
It was almost 80 yesterday and 75 today..too hot for me.It's crazy..what do I put my kids in to wear? Man, the stress I have to endure? Shorts? Or "long shorts" as Skye calls them.
O.k. 2 things Skye said and then I have to go to bed. 1. "Momma, do you know why boys are better than girls? Because when they are on the swings, they don't have to have the long hair in their eyes and can't see."
2. "Momma, I can't get over you. I love you the most. But lower than God!" hee.
Oh man!! He's so fun.

Intense

Has been an intense week. All the relatives came. We had the funeral and service and reception. People weren't happy, weren't getting along, didn't know exactly how to cope. Please pray for resolution for all.
I've been having milk supply issues. It is getting much better and except at certain times in the day, I think o.k., altho today he had trouble. I just realized that I'm feeding him double iron..iron in the formula that I add to the cereal and iron fortified cereal. Ick. Today he's constipated. I've never heard him scream before like this..poor little guy. I KNOW how that feels to be constipated.
I had a great Advent Event. My team (mostly people who were already my friends) helped immensely. The only glitch was that 4 people didn't come and one person was the other half of the meat. .. eh--hem..can't have taco salads without meat. So, we made fresh advent wreaths (found this really neat floral warehouse) and made cookies and crafts..it was great.
I'll post even happier news on the next entry.

Happy Thoughts

In light of my grandma passing away, thought I'd try and think happy thoughts and respond to the tag.

Juli's sisters sent me this one through email, but I think it's more fun to blog it. You guys do it too : ) I tag.... ALL of you! : )

Welcome to the 2007 Christmas Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends!
Don't be a Scrooge!!!

1. Jesus or Santa? Jesus

2. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? egg nog

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? white

4.a. Do you hang mistletoe? sometimes..I love kisses from Alan!
4.b. Do you have a wreath? Good story. First year we were married...made a cute wreath and had a bow on it and it was hanging on my door. Came home from work one day and my eccentric neighbor had taken it down and "fixed" it ..as she said... and added like little books, a bird, a couple pinecones..the WHOLE nine yards and then brought it back over to me. I was sort of in shock and sort of glad!! But to answer the question, I like a real fresh greens wreath, but only do that every 3rd year or so.
4.c. Do you hang garland? Where? Over the shower rod?

5. When do you put up your decorations? Alan likes to start...oh yah, Alan doesn't like to. I usually have to clean the house, make a nice meal, and then he MIGHT be in the mood to help..if he gets to JUST hang ornaments and not anything else..and at the tree place, he doesn't want to even pick up or touch the tree. He's a scrooge and I'm converting him, but it's been 15 years and he is stll giving me attitude. The thought of decorating does not make me tired, makes me happy!

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? caramel rolls. Quiche

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child: Going into my parent room and we would bang on the pots and pans and wake them up and they would act like they couldn't get out of bed..
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? 2nd grade, yah, somewhere in there.

9. Do you open gifts Christmas Eve? One

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Juli's answer: white lights, silver beads, hand-blown glass ornaments (Old World or Christopher Radko are my favorites.) Each ornament is sentimental.
My answer: eclectic..electric..whimsical. Some years I do a theme, some years I just hodgpodge..like last year when I could hardly sit up..I couldn't even decorate..sad pregnant story..

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it, as long as it doesn't get down my sock.

12. Can you ice skate? yes when I was 7 and didn't weigh 200 pounds.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? No favorite gifts for me.. One memorable gift and then I have to get to bed..sewing machine manual. We were traveling and I kept asking Alan if he needed me to leave room in the suitcase for gifts (meaning all the gifts that he was buying me) and he kept saying no. On Christmas morning (at my parents house) he gave me my gift and it was a thin, flimsy gift all wrapped up. I was super disappointed until I opened it and it was the manual to the new sewing machine he had bought!
14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you? Christmas parties (Christian) and sleeping under the tree Christmas eve, after reading the story outloud. Yes, we've done it every year except the year we visited my parents.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert(s)? no faves here, all sugar is good sugar.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? picking out my tree and then going out to lunch afterwards and talking about all the trees

17. What tops your tree? Just like Juli, an artsy sort of angel, until last year it bit the dust. Oh man, now I have to go shopping and get a new one..

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving if I have the perfect gift.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? O Holy Night..I like it best when I sing along with Celine Dion in the car..that's a number baby!

20.a. Candy Canes? only to stir and suck on as I'm drinking my hot cocoa, otherwise eeew.
20.b. If so are they usually gone by Christmas Day? no, they are either thrown away or used later in the year for other purposes.

Thanksgiving

Have a lot of ramblings to do. First off, my heart is heavy because I've been really struggling with feeding my baby. For 3 days now, on and off he hasn't wanted to eat. He doesn't want to suck hard enough to pull the milk out. We saw the pediatrician and he said he's got low muscle development/tone. He also said that in 2 1/2 months he's only gained about 12 ounces. Not much. So, we have to go back and get him weighed in 2 weeks. In the meantime, I had to go rent a pump from the hospital and try and increase my supply. That's not working and I'm so mad. It's a lot of work and takes sooo much time out of my day, let alone adds stress. I'm struggling with that. Since this is a private blog, and a "semi-safe" space, I can say that I don't know how to fix this and it's eating at me..to see your child look up at you with this pitiful expression of hunger and yet he won't take a bottle, it's heart wrenching. Everyone keeps saying that if he is hungry enough, he'll eat..so how many days is that? 5? He's not very heavy to start with..anyways, the cycle goes round. Alan helped me tremendously today with getting Chase to eat. He (Chase) finally took cereal. We added banana and I had pumped just enough milk to add. He finally took it. I can't tell you what that did for me!

On a completely different note, I'm thinking about these things:
1. Gram not doing well and seeing her in the state she was in at Thanksgiving yesterday
2. Sister not doing well. Other sister has a new baby and I haven't connected with her in a while. It's great that the reason she can't get a minute to talk is because of the baby, just a part of life that needs some adjusting to!
3. Just found out one of our neighbors who gives us grief sometimes is a Satan worshipper..all out complete with bible in home, paraphernalia etc.. I told Alan that he looks like he has a cloud over his face..like I can't really see him..now I know it's the darkness..so pray!
4. I'm hosting a big advent party next Friday and people don't seem to be wanting to help and I'm new and don't know that many people to ask/add. I'm wanting it to be a success, but also want to be relaxed about it and whomever comes, so be it and that was God's will.
5. Alan has been interviewing and has a possibility. It'd be nice to get an offer and for him not to have to work so many early morning hours.
6. Speaking of his job, his early morning job pay is what allows us to go out to eat, travel, pay credit down, go to Gymboree!, etc..they haven't had work for him in 3 weeks.. and it's wearing on him. I'd love for him to get a bump up in salary..if we ever want to move or leave here, we'll have to have extra to save..not just live paycheck to paycheck. Plus we're not very good at being totally on track for our budget..
7. Our complex in general. We had a big fire alarm ER this week and it took so much out of me. Alan was still stuck in traffic and I had to handle it for the whole 6 buildings..everyone coming over asking me, on the phone with the alarm company/property manager/fire department all the while neighbors (who I don't trust) hanging around and the really loud alarm, in each of our units as well as outside, going off. People were not happy with me and actually one of the residents pulled the station as a joke. I couldn't believe people were mad at me. Some times I'm overwhelmed by people's lack of graciousness/help.
8. A good friend here, her dad and gramma (young) were in a tragic car wreck the other day. I'm so overwhelmed too at times with the tragedy that people have to deal with.

Anyways, one thing I'm grateful for is family. We had a fabulous time yesterday in Fallbrook. Good food, family, fun. It was totally relaxed (besides my baby not being cheerful). I was really grateful to just sit there and be who I was and I didn't have any expectations of who should be helping/cleaning when and what I wasn't doing and what I should be saying..just so nice.

Can you pray that I have a good productive week. Too much on my plate. Many good things and I'm excited about the holidays and finding those little gifts and making you all special potpourri wreaths, and making my Christmas cards with my beautiful children on the front.

I'm also glad for my husband. Staying with me 13+ years and my spinning class that kicks my rear in gear with my husband beside me smiling and nodding his head, as if to say, "you go wifee, you can do it!"

Real Deal

So last night we were pushing the limit in terms of tempting our child. We had wanted to do ministry and serve one of our neighbors by going to his art show. I had put the baby down and so Alan was going to take Skye, but after a later dinner and then those guys getting showered and a bit dressed up and then me putting the baby down, it was near 8pm when they left. Skye gets back and it is now 9 and is in meltdown mode. I then hear Chase crying too. I take a deep breath and go into Alan who's trying to get Skye to obey, but as I know, at this moment, it's best to let daddy hold baby and momma discipline Skye. So, I go into his room and he just can't figure out why he has to go to bed. Seeing that this is a new thing we've been trying (eh-hem..ya right), I just calmly tell him that it is late, we are going to get ready for bed. I think the word "bed" came out wrong or something because that sends him into a further fluster, explaining through tears that daddy won't let him read "Mickey McGuffin's Ear" and he keeps saying that over and over (daddy's definitely the bad guy). So, amongst other things, I say to him, "if you can obey momma and take off your clothes and put your pull up on in 2 seconds, we can read a story together". He can't. So, I then do it for him and decide to talk with him, while firmly holding him, in my arms, while sitting on the floor. He's crying and telling me that he's trying to obey but he can't etc... I explain to him that he must stop complaining and that he's tired and that I wanted to tell him a story about worrying and peace. I explain about the lesson of casting all our cares on God etc., etc. Then I say to him that right now, he needs God's peace to come into his heart and help him. I ask if he believes and he says "yes". So, I boldly and expectantly (which isn't always the case) say, "Dear Holy Spirit, we invite you here..we need help..please come into our hearts and give us your peace that passes all understanding." AT THAT MOMENT, SKYE STOPPED CRYING, CLOSED HIS EYES AND FELL ASLEEP IN MY ARMS. I was excited and amazed. Miracles happen and they are real. Yipee for the Holy Spirit guys, eh??!

Pray for the Waite's

Hey. Most of you know by now the heart and mission we have for these people here in our complex. One of the guys we've been praying for is name James. We call him Jamba because during one of the controversies, we found one of his receipts and it was from JambaJuice. You'll know who he is as he was the one who, about a year ago, waited down at our car and jumped out at Alan and started harassing him. Alan has had several confrontations with him, the last one being that Alan told him he needed to turn his life around. One of the big deals in one of the current board meetings was his built in outdoor bar. Over the balcony, he and his parents (yes, parents) had rigged him this mahogany/metal bar complete with a keg hookup at the end of it. Our balconies are NOT that big, but his extended the length of it. Alan said to the others on the board that he wanted Jamba (who's parents had bought him this condo...we're talking 250K..yep, 1/4 of a million) to take it down for fear of someone getting drunk and falling off the balcony. I also witnessed drug deals and multiple packages with prescription drugs inside. So, these were some of the things that Jamba and us over here were 'dealing' with. The rest of the board thought that was too much to impose on a homeowner and voted Alan down. Another note about the bar: his parents fought the board hard to not have to take it down..as our policy is that no indoor equipment can be used on the balconies...
Well, Jamba went out partying a few weeks back and died due to alcohol coma that he never came out of. Tonight his roomate (who was the one that almost ran me and Skye over about 6 months ago and I went up to their place and was crying and said to please slow down in the parking lot and please watch out for the kids) came to Alan and told him.
When Alan came up here and told me I just cried. I don't know why I cried..he has been a thorn in our side...but all the while we have prayed. We have been kind to him, but have about 10 stories that we can tell about him and his parties..at the pool, at his house, etc..
So many things are going through our heads. His parents are, I'm sure, kicking themselves as they really aided him. He drove a suped up bmw, didn't have to work..etc., etc..the bad story just goes on and on.
Pray that as we get pushed around here, that the Lord would give us the desire to pray and to push back with that. That we would be bold. That He would continue to protect us.
Anyways, the parents names are Jim and Virginia Waite. Please pray for them. We're not sure why God chose to remove this guy from our complex in this way and why..why..why.
Thanks.

Chase is 5 months old today!

Hi. We're just so giddy over here. We made it to 5 months. I mostly happy because I still have milk, despite my body's desire to stop nursing. I had mastitis again last week..soo super painful and the thing that helps is to have them nurse..ugh.
So, here's my sweet family. Well, two of them. I wouldn't describe my husband as sweet. Other words come to mind such as s....oh, yah, I'm online, I'll spare the details.
O.k. my kid is "helping" me clean today. House is horendous (is that a word?) and altho I don't want to squish that spirit of helping, he is actually making more messes, but it's stuff that I have to clean anyways.
Killed a cockroach on the porch this morning the size of my whole thumb..no joke. Ick. BUT they don't bite and they are usually out of site. I was reminded that I need to put some more stuff down..haven't done that in about 6 months. All these things to do. Wow. Piles, up, doesn't it?
O.k. it's Wednesday which means I'm going to try and make it to the spinning class to get my rear in gear for?????

Don't Always Believe Everything You Read

Apparently, when looking up my name on the internet (I got sidetracked from a job I was suppose to be doing) this is who I am:

Lisa Miller brings over twenty years of experience in OB along with a unique legal viewpoint! A former professor of OB/GYN at Northwestern University School
Lisa Miller is a highly acclaimed Australian singer and songwriter
Lisa A. Miller, Ph.D. Assistant Professor Graduate Program in Industrial Engineering Department of Mechanical Engineering University of Minnesota
Lisa Miller MFT, is a psychotherapist and internationally exhibited artist

So, which one is true? Um, none of them!! That's so weird that there are so many of me out there!

8 random things

I'm suppose to do this, but I don't know how to tag other people, so until my technical director gets back to me, I'll just post my 8 random things.
1. Have always passed gas and burped with freedom in front of my husband..even when he wasn't my husband.
2. Always wanted a tattoo, but have always been told that I would be given to another family if I did it.
3. Changed my name to Rebecca in 10th grade. When the parent teacher conferences rolled around, guess who was confused? Not me!!
4. I married the first guy I ever kissed.
5. In 7th grade, I used up an entire bottle of "Beautiful" Perfume in one month's time, because I thought that I smelled pretty with it on. Subsequently, the boy that gave me that bottle, is now my husband. He also used up an entire bottle of "Drake" (the knockoff of 'drakar') cologne in 2 months time. We currently have to remind each other to wear cologne or perfume.
6. Had braces/mouth gear as a child/adolescent and as an adult, in addition to a bridge, one crown, 10 fillings....and you thought these perlies were natural!
7. I naturally have brown hair in the winter and very blonde hair in the summer..everyone always thinks I dye it.
8. My favorite dessert is creme brulee and my favorite chocolate in Lindt Excellence Dark Chocolate (I already said that in an earlier post, didn't I?) Um, o.k. let's see...favorite fruit is mango, and my favorite alcoholic drink is a really good amaretto sour (at least for this month!)

Haaaaayuh

O.k. I need to be honest and say that I can hardly type. I want to post a normal day in the life of me. For those who look at me as a celebrity, you will read this now and know that I am also a normal mom.

2:00am feed Chase
6:00am feed Chase; put him back down, but just by the way I layed him in the bassinnette (how do you spell this word anyways..I wouldn't have to spell it if I had him in a crib by now..don't even get me started on my attachment issues) I could tell he wasn't going to go back to sleep..tried on and off as I lay there..
6:30 feel Skye crawl into bed and say "momma, will you help me with the cartoons?" In my sleepy state, I sort of tell him something like, "please go play in your room" and "it's the top button". He gently says to me again..'momma, can I watch cartoons'. Well, those of you who make their children stay in the room until 7 or something..not sure how to accomplish this. Because he sleeps about 11 hours at night, when he does wake up, I don't feel good about telling him to go back in there..especially seeing that I rolled into bed last night at about 12ish (which is a whole-nuther self-control story if you wanna hear it). So, back to the story. So, all of those thoughts are running through my head..I haven't had any devotions and I decide to get up.
7:00 put on PraiseBaby for the kids and put Chase in a floor swing; he doesn't want to be there, as he likes to be held first thing in the morning. Finally decide that I'm just going to sit with both kids and watch PraiseBaby (interesting factoid: I've owned PraiseBaby for 4 1/2 years now..so probably not my most favorite show to watch) I listen to the music and the words and really try and focus on the cross and people's needs who I can pray for and not myself..doesn't work so swell, but o.k..
I then start doing some small things..fortunately, by God's grace..really..I have cleaned and scrubbed last night for like 3 hours straight, which in my house, if the floors aren't too bad, I can get a lot accomplished
Feed Skye breakfast (he's consumed about 3 pumpkin bread loafs by himself this week) and decide I need to sit and eat with him instead of starting my day..so I sit and he begins to talk so much that I don't even know if he ate anything. Then he states, "I'm ready for my snack momma..I'm REEEEEALLY hungry". We had gone to Costco yesterday and bought some dark chocolate covered pretzels and he's a pretzel fanatic..he's not much into sweets, so it's interesting that he is AS consumed with eating these pretzels as I am with eating the chocolate chip cookie dough in my fridge.....ie. when is it TECHNICALLY snack time, so I can eat a spoonful?
Well, before I go on and on (which I've already done) we managed to make some banana bread together, go to the zoo and then play horsey (in which I assume the four legged position on the floor and he sits on top of my back and I try to wing him off as I go about the living room, making noises that resemble a horse, all the while not trying to drool and spit on the carpet..yes, that is the game with the simple name, "horsey"!)
I had dinner ready (which doesn't always happen on time) and I get a call from the husbandino saying he won't be home until very late. Ahhhh---the breakdown starts. The fussy time for Chase is dinner time. So, I try and hold Chase, eat and convince Skye that there aren't many onions in the roast. "no babe, that is a potato", "o.k. Skye, what did momma say? Are you obeying by talking and not eating?" to the point where he is in tears because he thinks he isn't going to get to eat his squash (one of his favorite things in the whole world).
After several stories and then the discussion about what story I read and why I didn't read from the OTHER bible and so on...I just decided that at 7 on the dot, it was time for bed..TIRED OR NOT.
So, before we repeat my bad attitude and the frustration tonight, I better get ready for bed, read my bible and best be on the mend.
We've been talking about peace in Frippleville (family worship at our church) and so I've had to consciously pray out loud.."Lord.....etc.." I can say I've felt a difference, but sometimes I think God's telling me... "just go to bed early!!" duh!

BB Study

Funny that I use the letters "BB" to mean Bible and to mean "Barbe" as in bbque. Anyways, had a great bbstudy this morning. I love the ladies in my study. We're doing the book, Intimate Issues. ONe of the rules is that you can't discuss anything that would allow the other person to imagine things and that it must be about your journey with God in this issue etc., etc..we're following the rules so well, I'm so glad.
Have to tell a funny poo story. This morning as we were all leaving (our hostess Briget had to leave early for one of the kid's doc appts and so another one of our friends was taking her youngest to the inlaws house) we had a bit of a disaster. So, we are all trying to get out of Briget's house, the bbsitters are leaving, the kids are finishing up lunch and Briget's youngest starts crying. We had let the kids in the backyard for just a few moments while we were wrapping it up.So, we call for the kids to come in and I go to get her. My nose told me what was going on before I actually saw with my eyes. When I did look at Soshi, she is covered in chunky dog poo. COVERED...DID I SAY COVERED?? Chunks of it in her toes, nose, fingers, nails and to top it all off, she had a dirty diaper too! The poo queen for the moment. So, there are 4 moms left, 5 kids and a dog. One mommy was cleaning up the floor where the poo had fallen and gotten smudged, one mommy was running the tubbie and trying to get all the poo off the crying/screaming kid, one mommy was holding the other mommy's little baby who was crying and another mommy is pregnant and trying not to vomit everywhere from the smell all the while, trying to clean up lunch. Then, after one mommy is done doing one thing, she is upstairs trying to find clothes for the little one that is naked and still crying, while the other mommy is .....and it goes on and on!
So my statement is this: no wonder we feel so darn stressed at times. If that had happened to the acutal mommy that was trying to get out the door to the doc appointment, SHE WOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT. It took 4 mommies!! And it was still a bit chaotic!
Be encouraged..sometimes it's o.k. to not have it all together. God Bless You Mommies Today. May your day not include a dog and poo.

Stains

O.k. so, let's establish one thing about me: I love getting stains out. That is something I inherited from my mother. Makes me sort of feel like I just conquered the world. ESPECIALLY if it's an article of clothing that one of dear friends or sisters has sent me (with the stain in it) and I get it out. Oh wow! Now, there is no drug for that feeling..pure exhilaration! My mom bought me the book (or did I buy it, no..I think my mom did) The Queen Of Clean and she really does have some good tips in there for cleaning. One of my favorite is club soda on the carpets gets out ANYTHING. Pour it on, get your rag and scrub and soak it up and voila! stain is gone. I also like the stain on the front of the shirt that seems to move around each time and I get it..zap it!! Gone.
O.k. that's enough of that rant.

Pumpkin Bread

Alton Brown is one of my favorite chefs. He's a master mind, in my opinion. Here is his original and my edited version of the best pumpkin bread ever. For those of you who are literalists or have to have exact, try your best..I add and usually don't ever use measuring things. Weird, I know and not predictable, I know.
330 preheat..It'll cook at 325, but my oven runs hot..so maybe for yours, bake at 330
2 cups flour
2 teaspoons cinnamon..I heaped them cuz I love cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon cardamon (optional..I love this stuff and add it to any cinnamony bread)
1/8 teaspoon or so of nutmeg and cloves..just pinch a few times and throw.
1 teaspoon baking soda..shake it up (my mom taught me that) as b.s. settles
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup sugar..add more if you are going to use real pumpkin or real squash
3/4 cup vegie oil...I used all the oil, as I wanted real moist..but you could try applesauce and flaxseed, probably would be o.k....just don't use butter in this one
3 large eggs (don't skimp on these either)
1+ teaspoon vanilla..if you have the real stuff, stay on the side of 1 t., but if it's like 2 year old Macormicks (or whatever that ick brand is..use more like 1 1/2-2)
1 1/2 cups pumpkin goo..I used that pie stuff, but originally Alton asks for 2 cups scooped fresh cooked pumpkin..but I didn't get around to cooking the squash, so I just opened the can..if you use fresh, add 1/2 cup sugar or honey.

Sift all dry; Mix all wet (with wisk..my new favorite tool for everything) EXCEPT PUMPKIN
Combine in equal parts and alternating between wet, dry and pumpkin until just blended. Spray your pans..I used a little pumpkin shape pan from Williams Sonoma (yes overpriced, but very much makes me happy everytime I see that pan) similar to a small bundt. If you do muffins, reduce cooking time drastically to like 30 minutes or so.
Cook for about 65 minutes..but watch..it can burn. Cook until you smell that yummy smell and you stick that toothpick in the middle and it's mostly dry coming back out.
Basically a reason to eat cream cheese, eh? I'd also think a lemon glaze would be nice with this bread..I have 3 slices straight out of the oven..it's moist and stays that way days later. Yum to the max!

Shh. Halloween Candy

O.k. so the secret is out that I enjoy a big bag of candy. Sure, not good for me, sure, no self control and sure, major sugar rush and ick glick in my throat. But, not necessary to focus on those things when I can receive all the greatness that chocolate has to offer.
Now, I don't want you to give me that discount candy..like the little pieces of "bubble blow" that really doesn't chew well and then sort of dissolves into chunky, oily, islands in your mouth. And don't give me pretzel packets-WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??? One year when we lived in Charlotte, NC, I made up all these little health packets for the kids. They sort of scornfully looked at me as I handed them out. The next year, I didn't get any "trickORtreat-ers". So, problem, solved. Oh--and especially no candy like peanut butter toffee chewy treats. They're not EVEN TREATS..unless of course, you have dentures, no money and can't get to the store to buy the good stuff..I mean, who eats those candies? Even those milk dud things aren't my favorite..who names their candy "dud"? WHO? Anytime that I've ever tried to come up with a great idea, I don't name it "lame" or something..I would name it "the greatest candy on earth" or at least start off with that name.
So here's the game that I'D LIKE TO PLAY: Name your favorite candies. Since this is a private blog, there is NO SHAME in saying your favorite kinds..even if it is those "no name" brand peanut butter (sort-of) chews.
Here are my top:
1. dark Lindt chocolate (60% cacoa or higher) HEY--dontchu be judging me--I'm high fashion, high taste kinda lady and I'm stickin with my favorites. You can create your own blog, late on a Sunday night when YOU should be sleeping and then list YOUR favorites there, but you're reading mine now.
2. Slow poke suckers..oh baby..that's the best..and with a big glass of ice cold water.
3. Snickers with almonds...need I say anymore?
4. jelly bellys..but not that nasty "popcorn" flavor.
5. Peanut Butter m/m's.
6. If you're gonna offer me pretzels, offer me those chocolate covered pretzels.
7. Lindt White Coconut chocolate bar

There are scholarships available, listed under "halloween benevolence" , as I know these treats aren't usually offered in those smashed 5 lb. Costco bags of candy.

Is it o.k. to only like the candy part of trick or treating? Would it be appropriate to not say "trick or treat" AT ALL and just hold open your bag, like my son did at his dad's work parade?

O.k. for real, we don't celebrate Halloween. We celebrate Fall, as it's my FAVORITE season. Sweatshirts and me get along very well. Not so much with me and the patch leaf sweaters...but yes, the big gray, a bit torn, sweatshirt is fun for fall days.
Cheers.

Because A Pastor's Wife Told Me To Do It

O.k. So, the game goes. I've been tagged and then I'm suppose to write all my fav authors down, eh? You know I can't really tell you my favorites and I think it's funny that some people, eh-hem, Julz, has like a gidgillion favorites, but we'll play the game anyways. I think things like eating ice cream and drinking lattes and walking around a bookstore are a BIT more fun than listing authors, but I guess it's a way to get to know some good dirt, as I don't tend to lend myself time to research those types of things. Plus, one rule is for sure: if a pastor's wife has time and tells you to do something, you best better listen up and do it!

1. Don't Make Me Count To Three, Ginger Plowman (for me)
2. Treasure Hunter, William Boniface (for little ones)
3. The Adventures Of TinTin, Herge Little, Brown and Company (for medium ones, editing necessary)
4. Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, Mo Williams (for medium ones)
5. My ABC Bible Verses, Susan Hunt (for little ones)
6. 10 Rubber Ducks, Eric Carle (is that his spelling..the book is in the kid's room right now..)
7. Grace for the Moment, Max Lucado (for daddy's..good to sit on the back of the toilet for all the time)
8. Women Helping Women, Elise (for me)
9. Adventures of the Bush Pilot (for daddy to read to little/medium ones)
10. The Cooks (Digest?) or something like that..test kitchen stuff, explains how/why you add certain ingredients to make stuff better/worse. I LOVE IT..it's my best read yet!

So, no pictures right now..sitting here in my p.j.'s (or not..but I can't say what I'm really sitting here in, as that wouldn't fit my profile) with my hair pulled up tightly and messy on top of my head, with my glasses on and my face all washed..NO make up here ladies, no glam, just meeting the needs of my fans and fellow bloggers...that's it. Yep, it's all for you!

Thank you

It's true. We don't say it enough. I usually say it with a card or with another gift. But this time, I'd like to thank my friends and family for loving on me, even though I really am, at times (more times than not) "the least of these". I'm not that loveable. I can throw on the charm at times, but really, when it comes down to it, I'm a lot of things I don't want to be.
One thing that really blesses me is when someone is thoughtful. Like buys me peanut butter bread with chocolate chips in it (from the specialty store..eh-hem Marilyn) for my breakfast and not only does that, but cuts up a few pieces of it, puts a place setting, makes decaf coffee for me and then writes me a note so when I wake up (and she's off to work) it will be ready for me.
And also when a sister calls me and tells me like it is. Like just is honest with me and then listens to my response and still loves me.
And then another friend who gives up sleep and a needy husband (we all know how they are in the evenings) all the while tending to her 5 kids and my 2. Then takes me out to dinner (and spends her gift certificate on ME), buys me special treats and asks me to "tell her stories" just so she can hear me talk (what? who does that???!!) eh-hem Juli.
And then my MomSpace team who emails me to let me know they miss me. I'm so blessed...sooo blessed. Thank you for loving me..really, thank you.

If I had a million dollars..

I'd buy you a house..If I had a million dollars..I'd buy you a monkey...and so the song goes. I think if I had a million dollars, I'd first replace my undergarments and then move on to other items such as a camera and some photography lessons. I recently told our couples group (we call ourselves COPA..couples, parents..you get it) that I'd pay $1,000 for one perfect shot of one of my kids. I'm not kidding. Some of you are reading and are praying for my soul as I can, at times, lack in the self control department. But I love photography. I go on photography websites (yes, of people I don't know) and look at angles and such. So, anyways. To the left are pictures of some of the people I love. Sorry I cut out a couple people, I don't know how to fix that and it's getting late and I need to take my contacts out and wash my face and nurse my youngest.

Beautiful Scents

Recently I was combing my young friend Alyssa's hair and I told her, "your hair is gorgeous and you're so beautiful". Then I said, "but I want you to know that you must keep obeying God and your parents so that you can become even more beautiful on the inside and out". I read that verse in Proverbs the other day about becoming more beautiful as we obey His commands. I want to be more beautiful, but often need to be reminded that all that plucking (eyebrows, lip, chin, etc.) is necessary and worthwhile.
I recently viewed a video promoting The Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney. He had the scent and look of Christ. I wanted to look at him and hear him talk, more and more. If you have seen him, which some of you have..he's not a super attractive person, in most people's standards. But I'm captivated by him because of who he is captivated by.
Recently in MomSpace (my women's meeting on some Fridays) we peeled an orange (as a spiritual exercise) and gave reflections on it. One thing that Kara said was that after you peel an orange, the scent of it is on you for days. That's like Christ..when we're with Him and people who love Him, His scent stays on us and people know. That's what I want.

Grateful For Even The Smallest

One of the greatest things about my life is that I sometimes (if I don't wake up to the alarm, which my youngest usually wakes up about 2 minutes before it to nurse, but anyways) am still in the bedroom when my oldest wakes up. He comes bounding in the room, almost tripping because he's running in so fast. He says in his most enthusiastic voice, "Momma, there's a little orange light peeking through!" "Common Momma" "Hurry, hurry". God must be so pleased. He makes these for us everyday and how often are we that way. So, from me and Skye, God, we say that we noticed this morning. Thanks for my son's enthusiasm and our home and your Son.

About my miracle children

Here are some funny things Skye (my 4 year old) has said recently:
1.Mom, do you know what 'stinky elevasia" is? I say "no" and Skye says, "it's where all the skunks live and you go there and they stink you." Yep.
2. Mom, I'm smarter than a turtle.
3. Mom, I love you more than grass.
4. We were at the ocean (bay side) and Skye noticed while we were there that the tide was going out..he says to me.. "momma, that's the scoot-up shore".
5. Skye says, "o.k. mom, are you ready for a story?" (I say yes) then he turns to Alan and says, "dad, turn on your mouth and start talkin..everybody else, put your ears to listen."
6. Alan recently gave me tulips and I asked Skye, "do you know what these flowers are called?" he says "no" so, I say "tulips" can you say "tulips?" he says, "I know another word 'tulips'" and points to his lips.
7. We were shopping a sale possibly looking for camping equipment. I say to Skye, "can you say camping gear" (or something like that) and he looks back at me and says, "Momma, can you say 'tent'?"!!

If it ever was a confirmation

So my friend Juli (she doesn't refer to me as her dear friend in her blog, so I will just pay her back with the same simple title, friend, altho we all know she is one of my dearest) said that I need to get one of these. I have always wanted to blog and have thot a lot more about it recently. The more I thot about it, the more it became clear to me that I think I already had created one like 3 years ago. Oh well. I'll just create another one. So, I stayed up one night thinking of a really 'catchy' name and came up with "3 Orange, 1 Blonde" which I thought was pleasantly perfect (and smart). So, I entered all the info in (barely keeping my eyes open as it was like 11ish) and what to my wandering (ha!) eyes to appear, a something-something-something and a tiny reindeer..nope, not that. It was 3 blogs. So, the "ever confirmation" comment refers to my roots (the blond roots, not the family roots). After all, I really am a bit A.D.D. and a lot blond. And yes, I spell it with an "e" at the end. Don't know why that is either.
For those who are just starting to get to know me, I'm pretty spicey..hey--you signed on to read this!

Trying to copy everyone else

This is good for me to type here. I feel very intelligent at times and would really like to publish something someday..this makes me feel like I'm doing just that. Plus, I really love to read certain folk's blogs and emails. I started one of these about 3 years ago and never really posted to it, but it was really hard to technically figure out. I also feel at times like I don't really want to be myself on these things..like make it all perfect. That's a reason I'm doing this. For reality's sake. I like to jump all over the place and so this gives me freedom to do it.
Plus, just like another eh-hem friend's blog said...I want to have a place to write down things so when I scrapbook, I can look back for a refresher about that moment in my life. Needless to say, I'm pretty bad about remembering things. In the moment, I really enjoy myself and then I forget.
So, how many reasons is that? About 7. Good. Something to fill up the first blog.
One thing I was talking with Juli today about is the balancing act. I'd like to know a real sample of some of your lives and how you balance. I'm not very good at it and having 2 kids now is really cutting into "my" time. Example: I'd rather type emails than do my dishes. Eh-hem.