Since my blog is my blog and it's really just an extension of my journal and verbage to God, I really can't profess to make things always make sense and sound/look good. I've really been wrestling with God lately.
I feel like I'm underneath the giant water jug and the spout is open and I can't get enough of living water. I also feel like I don't want Gatorade or anything other than pure water. I really have been in such a dry land for so many months. Partly due to time and nursing Chase and him not getting enough, so him not having a steady sleep schedule, so therefore me not getting steady sleep and now I feel like I've finally had 3-4 months of solid God time and I'm rejuvenating.
There are parts of me that I haven't been able to fix and it's frustrating. Such as my weight. Since having 2 and being the kind of person that has to exercise to stay fit, I just haven't quite figured out how to put that in. I've also been homeschooling Skye and then just trying to clean and cook and all that..me, personally, I haven't handled the transition well. O.k. so that was a bit of a trail, but anyways, I'm just entering another pure season. God told me two things: refinement and refreshment.
REFINE has meant for me:
1. weeding out friendships that aren't pointing me towards Christ. Either friends that aren't truly friends, but merely people that I fill my life with because I can't wait or just get lonely.
2. Learning to have discipline and self control. I preach to my kids all the time about patience and self control and find that often times I lack it. One thing that I was totally encouraged to do after reading the book, "Shopping for Time" was to join the 5AM club. Besides the fact that I love staying up late when all is quiet, I really have become so lazy in my devotional time, sort of having the attitude that "if I fit it in during the kids rest time then that's good". What I was finding that it gets to be 10, 11, 12 and I still haven't read, taken a shower or done anything with me and God. How can that equip me for battle if I'm not ready? So, I've tried to make that a priority. I have gradually moved from 6:30, to 6:00 and now this next month I'm gonna try to move to 5:30. I don't do it everyday and insteadof looking at how many times in the week I didn't, I just try and look to the next day and remember how safe and warm and protected I feel when I'm with God.
3. Learning to let some family members go to God. I can't really say much more than that, but I've really been struggling with expectations and unhealthy family relationships. It's been time for me to pull back and let God fill those places that I'm trying to get from others. The same has been for some friendships too.
REFRESH
1. Experiencing nature more.
2. Worshipping with my kids more.
3. keeping my open bible out and instead of checking my email or picking up the phone (which I still do) I catch little moments from the bible.
4. Each ill thought that comes in my mind, I take it captive and acknowledge that I cannot make it through each day alone and that I cannot do this alone and that I will not give in to unhealthy, toxic and evil thoughts..thoughts that are not pure and lovely..well, I'm working on that one!
O.k.my wrists ache..must sign off.
I'll post pics of my Chase Ray next time.
3 comments:
Good, practical methods... I bet you'll experience fruit. I was talking to one of my kids about this the other day... He/she is often in trouble for a particular sin, and will apologize... yet there has been no change. The other day when I asked this particular kiddo what their "game plan to change" was... they were clueless.
It was good reminder for myself, too. It's not enough to just say sorry and feel bad about where we are at in life. We need a plan. ; )
So, can you write me a plan and send it my way? *grin*
I don't know who you are jjandfive but God just used you to talk to me. Thank you. Lis.. I'd love to hear your plan also and I would like you to ask me for one. I have a few long term goals in the works but no short term ones. like I said the other night God is carring a lot of my pain but I too have felt very dry lately. I need to be filled with his water. I'd love to join you in the 5am club. right now i get up with the kids at 6 and I have been getting a shower every day for over a month (you don't know what I task that is) but I have not been starting my days with Christ in my heart and I have been even more convictd because I stopped doing devo's witht he boys at night when the over nights started. Anyways all the to say lets get a plan and start to wash up before the day starts.
Hi Jen : ) I think we met when Lis had Chase.
I believe Jerry Bridges's book called A Pursuit of Holiness is about these sorts of things. I think I need to read it this year.
ONe of the problems with following a certain "method" towards holiness is we can tend to rely so heavily on the method that we neglect the relationship that God desires. (I'm so guilty of that!) It's wonderful that you guys are contemplating the 5 am club. Count me out though... too early for me, I might die of exhaustion! ; )
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