How I'm feeling lately. Haven't been able to have much process time. Alan has been working a ton, as in like 16 hour days and I think I just go into "operation Millerthyme" when that happens. I just enjoy his company so much and hate that he has to work this much. Speaking of work, we are looking seriously for another job. It has to pay more than his both jobs combined for us to move and then there's the house. I really want Alan to be doing something he LOVES. He's just been plugging away out here for 5+ years working like this and I see him slowly fading away.
You know how much I want a yard and some more space for us. I'm really content with my home, but I would really love a bigger house. (I thought my 1300 square foot house in Charlotte was small!!) And I really need to live next to family or dear friends. I feel torn about this a lot. Is it wrong for me to want these things? I just imagine growing old together in a place that has space to be creative and where imagination can flourish. Then I think of these African families who completely do without.
I've also been pondering the fact that I really don't take time for myself..how do I fit this in with a husband who has to work so much..and more specifically exercise. And that, as well as things like scrapbooking and little fun trips. Anyways...I think I might need to re-evaluate my time. I cut out t.v. and I just can't seem to be finding that extra time.
I've also still been internally REALLY processing friendships. I can't say more than that, as to not offend, but I'm finding that I've pulled back on "trying" so hard to keep friends going, and believe it or not, have once again, found that my true friends are contacting me. I've recently had a woman out here in SoCal want to meet and talk with me...part of me is wondering "am I the mentee?" but then when we meet, it's so natural and God filled and heart reviving that I'm just grateful.
Homeschooling has been going great. It's not the schooling part that's hard, it's the other stuff. I went about looking for help with housekeeping, as I don't want to do that on the weekend when I can spend time with BigAl. But do you know how much these people make an hour? Almost more than Alan and most of the time they don't have an MBA! What? It's just crazy. And they have so many rules about what they will and won't clean. I refuse to spend $80 every other week (or more) on that..so I've tried to step up the cleaning at night times and such.
Skye has had some really hard days lately. I still haven't figured out what makes a really hard "sensory" day. We'll wake up and it will be crazy hard from the beginning of the moment the day starts. And then there's days like today when I actually get on here and type and he wants to watch Kipper the Dog, or some other video. I know my attitude plays a lot into it, but as he gets older, it's getting harder and harder to physically handle him..like when he does "lose" it, it's a god thing I don't hae 6 other children to handle. I know one of the problems is that he has no "outside" to just go and be "still". Now with Chase's naps and our homeschool requirements, I know that sometimes we just have to drop everything and go to Seaworld or something. But that's not possible. It's also hard in an education environment because he LOOKS like all the other kids, but things set him off...like having to sit in a classroom and pay attention for an hour. Phew..literally impossible for him at times. Overall he loves school and is doing beautifully. No favorite subjects yet, but I try and switch things up a lot so he doesn't really know exactly what's coming..I mean, we do the "same" core things every day, but then switch it up.
Well, Skye just finished his video and says, "o.k. momma, time for reading" so there you go..must go. Much love.
6 comments:
Hey Lisa - maybe you've looked into this already, but: I sometimes get help cleaning my place from a local student. I tried a cleaning agency once and was not happy with them at all. I can usually find a college student who's willing to come for one or two hours at a time, every other week (sometimes once a week), clean what I ask them to, and happy with $15/hr. So, I generally pay $30 or $50 (if it's for a big deal - if I'm having people over or it's been a long time in between cleanings) at the most. My place is about 1100 sq ft. Anyway - maybe a college or h.s. student in your complex/neighborhood? Or from church?
thanks for the suggestion..maybe I'll go over to campus and put a little post it somewhere. Also the high school..good idea..thanks!
Lisa, I was wondering if there's any way you can ask around at church for a mother's helper? Even if you have to pay her (maybe $5/hour?), you could clean while she played with the boys and you'd be nearby just in case she needed you.
It's a great opportunity for a young lady to learn from a mom with young children. KWIM? (Esp. if they don't have any younger siblings.)
Just a thought.
I love you.
We likely can chat tonight if you'll be around. No plans here, and John has youth group.
One more thing, when I was looking for "nanny" help, we told the caregroup leaders and asked if they could suggest anyone, since they usually know what's going on with folks in the church and the personalities of kids. Not sure if that would work with your church. Just a suggestion.
Cleaning my house just wouldn't get done without a service or help this year. Yipes. Craziness.
Ok, I could talk and talk about things you mentioned in this post... but thought I'd add "time for myself" does not happen here either, except very late at night. Which is why I walk around with very dark circles under my eyes and am generally in a state of exhaustion. But who needs sleep, eh?
; )
Last night I pulled a book off the kids shelf about a doll (Hitty). Great book. So good to veg, but boy am I tired today!!!!
Comment number five. Woooo!
The house by friends. cry, cry : ( : ( : (
Post a Comment